Pather, Pa, Papa: Three Words That Bring A Smile To My Heart

Here we are, most of us anyway, a few more babies belong to us now, a new fella for one of my girls, a husband finally for another, but for the most part we were all in one place. Thomas came into our life when Sarah was 6, Jazz 4, and Backle 2, there was an awkwardness for a very long time as to what to call him. They all settled on Tom and that was the norm. My heart used to ache to hear the word "Daddy". I called my own dad Daddy and I knew what it meant. Shan called him Dad , but somehow it just left my ears longing for more. I can't remember when it all came about. This new name, this new word. I think it was sometime after Iris was born and he became Papa. My ears liked this new name, my heart too. My girls had a Papa and he was so very special. Papa was a big name to live up to and Thomas was doing his best. I still missed the familiarity of Daddy. Then one day it happened he became Pather. It was Becky that named him. I know she thought about it for quite a while. And I suppose if the truth be told she is still the only one who calls him that. I don't know if she knows the gift she gave to us all. To be the one brave enough, thoughtful enough, silly enough, to give him a name all his own, she gave everyone else the permission to call him something besides Tom. Now, for the most part, he is Pa to the big girls and Papa to the babies.

It was quite an undertaking, to romance a woman with so much baggage and I am not just talking about the girls either. I watched him when he didn't know I was looking. I could see the fear. Was he wondering if he was cheating on his own little girl with my babies? I suspect yes, he was. Yet, he didn't voice his concerns. There were hard, hard times and I would be lying if I said there weren't, but time heals wounds and I think that many a scar are near a faint trace of what they started out to be.

His life and outlook changed the very minute Iris was born, she brought with her into this world healing for us all. She brought with her a road paved with love and forgiveness. The softening of hearts and a new start. How amazing the love for and of a child can be. The permission to cry happy tears and not feel silly as they fall, the warmth that radiates from your core at seeing their first accomplishments, the kisses on boo boos, and the protectiveness at anyone who even thinks to harm and the touch, that soft skin next to yours and you know that now all is well. Though Tom and I never brought any children into this world together we did raise four beautiful daughters and Iris, she was the bridge that brought it all together.

While he has be away working the girls call everyday to see how he is. They miss him. And as Jazzie readies herself to bring our ninth grand baby into our family the lines are blurred and all but vanished as to who belongs to whom. They are all just our children and I am honored to hear the these three words, Pather, Pa, Papa. It may have been a rough journey getting there, but now that we are here what a smile me heart wears. Happy Pather's day my love, you are the best!